Friday, May 11, 2007
Sheridan threatened the warden with information Alistair left behind that could get him in trouble. She demanded he find Fancy. In Luis's cell, he realized the guards were searching for Fancy, so he pretended to be attacking her when they walked in. As they beat him silly, Fancy couldn't take it anymore so she yelled, "What have you done to him?" The warden walked in and asked her why she cares about the prisoner. Fancy covered by saying they were sensitive about police brutality at the last jail she worked in. The warden told her they were searching for a woman posing as a guard. "Are you even assigned to this block?" he asked before ripping off her hat. "Are you Fancy Crane?" Of course, she denied it and said she was walking by the cell on a smoking break and fell for the prisoner's trick of making noise, which is was lured her in. While slyly convincing the warden to get Luis some medical attention, she also insisted on being his guard. Meanwhile, in the lobby, Sheridan made a call from the warden's phone to get an update on the activity in Luis's cell. The warden spoke to Sheridan and told her that Luis was being sent to the infirmary. There, Fancy acted tough until the other guard left her alone with Luis. They exchanged "I love yous." Then, Fancy informed him that Sheridan knows she's posing as a guard. Just then, Sheridan interrupted and dragged her niece into the hallway. They went back to their old routine of blaming each other for Luis's predicament. Sheridan picked up the phone to turn Fancy in. Fancy stopped her by pointing out that Luis would hate her if she did.

Vincent called Chad demanding they meet for a rendezvous or else he'll spill the beans to Whitney. Chad told Whit it was an annoying client pestering him. When someone was at the door, Chad assumed it was Vincent and snapped, but it was Eve. Chad, again, covered by saying he thought it was the client. Eve was there to help Whitney plan Chad's surprise birthday party, so they were anxious to get him out of the apartment. Eve informed her daughter that Valerie is close to finding the son she had with Julian. Whit was excited to meet her half brother. Finally, Chad left so the girls could get to work. Eve told Whit that she started opening her heart toward Julian, but then found him in bed with Ivy. "Thank God you have a man who believes in fidelity like you do," Eve said. "The one thing I know about Chad is that I will never walk in on him in bed with another woman," Whitney noted. (Is that why she constantly jumps to the conclusion that her husband is having an affair?) The women gushed about Chad's love for Whit, unaware that he was on his way to see his secret lover.

While on the phone with Rebecca, Gwen screamed. "What is going on?" asked Bec, clueless about the fact that her daughter was being restrained on a bed.... The half-man/half-woman sent Theresa a video message saying she better not be with Ethan, which she was. The masked person threatened to tell Ethan her secret. Ethan told Theresa to end the blackmailing right then and there by just telling him herself. She told Ethan she had to get back to Jared, and headed out. In their bedroom, Jared filled his wife in on his time with Little Ethan, who said he met a half-man/half-woman clown in the mansion. Theresa dropped her glass, but claimed she was fine. She told her hubby she had to make a work call, but would be back. In the library, the blackmailing clown threatened Theresa with a knife. Mrs. Crane Casey yelled at the he-man for going near her boy. In turn, the man-woman said he will not hurt Little Ethan, but will expose his true paternity and ruin her brothers' lives. When they heard someone coming in the door, the he-she hid. Jared walked in and asked a crying Theresa if she was okay. She said she was fine, that she loves him and gave him a hug.

In the Crane living room, Ethan poured himself a cocktail. Rebecca ran up to him and asked him to help her with Gwen. "Her life could be in danger," she claimed. When Bec said Gwennie has been crying out in pain during their last two conversations, Ethan said she probably just had a headache. He called Becky on her plot to get him back together with Gwen because Jared and Theresa are planning to have a baby. He agreed to call Gwen to check on her. "Are you okay?" he asked. An annoyed Gwen accused Ethan of only calling because her mother begged him to. She said she is not returning to Harmony, and that she has new people in her life. Ethan heard someone in the background say, "He's coming." Gwen wouldn't tell him who it was and said she had to go, so she hung up. Rebecca was confused and wanted to find out what her daughter was up to.

Thursday, May 10, 2007
Sheridan told Spike to help her expose Fancy, who they just learned is acting as a prison guard. Spike got a call and left a fuming Sheridan. She called the prison and said she was on her way to see the warden. There, Sheridan told the warden that Fancy is posing as a guard.... Fancy broke away from Luis's kiss and said she couldn't touch him after he was with a guy. He told her it was Sheridan dressed as a man that he was kissing. She slapped him. "What was that for?" he asked. He claimed Sheridan kissed him, not the other way around, and he didn't stop her because he felt bad for her. "It wasn't pretty," he said. "Believe me, it wasn't pretty." Luis assured Fancy he wants to be with her, not Sheridan. When they heard a noise at the door, Fancy jumped, but Luis said it was nothing. He warned her not to get caught posing as a guard, and she said not to worry. They wanted to take advantage of their time together, so they started smooching again. Luis stopped Fancy from taking her clothes off because he wants their first time to be more romantic. He lashed out thinking this could be the last time they could be together before his death sentence. They started getting hot and heavy, unaware that the guards were searching for her.

Kay continued to be by Miguel's bedside, and told Pilar she still needs to tell Fox she is leaving him. Julian and Fox listened from the hallway.... Spike met with Julian and Fox, who asked the pimp to kill Miguel. Spike mumbled something about giving the Cranes a group rate, but didn't elaborate. "Consider it done," he replied.

Little Ethan ran into the half-man/half-woman in a Crane mansion hallway. The boy complimented him/her for such a cool costume and asked if it was from Aunt Rebecca's closet. Yikes, here's hoping the kid hasn't run across her adult toy chest! The he-she told L.E. that he's a friend of Theresa's and the boy's father.... While Jared waited for Theresa to come back to the room, Rebecca walked in looking for Willy, her boa constrictor. Jared shared the good news that he and Tess are planning to have a baby. Bec was surprised and noted it sounds like Theresa has moved passed Ethan. Bec called Gwen right away to share the scoop. On the other end of the phone, Gwen told her mom she couldn't come back to Harmony because she was tied up — and she was literally tied to a bed. Bec thought her daughter hung up on her. Jared came back to the room, quickly followed by Little Ethan, who told them he just met a cool clown who told him Julian wasn't his father. When Becky and Jared asked who the clown said was his dad, L.E. jumped into Jared's arms and said he was. Jared suggested he go read a book. Alone, Rebecca told Jared she thinks the clown is L.E.'s imaginary friend. Little E returned with a book, and after they read it together, he and Jared headed out to find "Tess." They returned to the bedroom after failing to find her. Jared got a call for L.E. to go downstairs because his friend was there. Before he left, Little Ethan thanked Jared for being in his life.... Rebecca called Gwen again and was annoyed that she didn't want to return home to get Ethan back. Gwen struggled to get loose. Then she started yelling at someone, who was not seen, to "Stop it!"

In the secret room, Ethan pleaded with Theresa to give into their passion and promised her nobody could find them there. "Think of this room like Vegas. What happens in here is going to stay in here," he said. Theresa fought him on it, saying she had to obey the blackmailer in order to save her brothers. He assured her that, together, they will get Luis and Miguel out of their mess. They began to make love, unaware the blackmailer was searching for them. After doing the deed, Theresa received a video message from the she-man saying he was disappointed in her.

Wednesday, May 9, 2007
While at a weak Miguel's bedside, Kay told him she was just about to tell Fox that she's leaving him when she got the call that Miggy was hurt. He said he won't fight her on the issue; if she wants to wait for him to get out of jail and not be with Fox, that was fine. Outside the door, Julian asked Fox if he hired the prisoners to beat up Miguel. Fox said he wished they had killed his enemy, but he didn't hire them. Pilar arrived to see her battered son, so Kay left them alone. An upset Pilar didn't understand why he was attacked, and asked if he was sexually abused. He assured her he wasn't. Julian talked Fox out of exposing his knowledge of Kay's love for Miguel. Fox grew frustrated secretly watching Kay tell Miguel that she doesn't know what she would do if anything happened to him. "I think Kay's love for Miguel is so long and enduring that you'll never replace Miguel in her heart," Julian noted. But instead of giving up, they must get rid of Fox's rival. "Romeo must die. We have to kill Miguel," Jules said.

Sheridan told Spike she's going to help Luis escape from prison — and he's going to help her. "Now all we have to do is come up with the details," she beamed. Spike told her to give him a call when she figured it out because he had "drugs to sell and whores to pimp." Sheridan turned angry, slapped him and told him she was more important that all of that. Spike asked her if she was positive Luis will be with her, and not Fancy, after he's free from prison. Sheridan thought long and hard about how to get her ex-love out of jail. She fantasized about being a superhero, breaking through his cell and reuniting with Luis. She set a picture of Fancy on fire and ran off with Luis. Back to reality, Spike informed Sheridan that Fancy disguised herself to be in prison with Luis. Sher was livid.

Esme pranced around the Crane kitchen trying to serve herself breakfast and coffee. A crying Fancy walked in. Esme tried to comfort her in her own little way. "I knew you and Ned wouldn't last," she said. Uh, that was so 2005, Esme. Fancy filled her in on Luis's alleged gay fling. Esme was intrigued — and slightly turned on. Esme worried about the lack of straight men left, and flirted with the thought of being with Fancy.

Luis yelled at his cellmate and cornered him with a chair. Two guards charged in and scolded Luis for harassing Max, who actually stood up for Luis. Luis was taken to solitary confinement. "Staging that fight with Max wasn't one of my brightest moves," whined Luis to himself, which he noted must be because he's losing it being alone. Um. Luis, you've talked to yourself for eight years before being in solitary confinement! Fancy returned to give Luis a chance to explain himself. He filled her in on faking the brawl and getting put in solitary confinement. He kissed Fancy before finishing his sentence about loving her.

The blackmailer watched as Theresa told Ethan she had to obey the half-man/half-woman's demand and have Jared's baby. Winthrop pleaded with her not to, but after kissing him, Theresa ran off to be with her husband. As she was about to walk in the bedroom door, she was attacked from behind. She screamed about giving up Ethan and preparing to have Jared's baby, but it wasn't the blackmailer who grabbed her; it was Ethan! He brought her to the secret passageways to talk, unaware that the he-woman was lurking around. He explained it was a room that Sam and his people found while searching for the blackmailer and that nobody would know they were there. They kissed, but she pushed him away — or at least tried to. They smooched some more. The masked half-man/half-woman mumbled to himself about having to kill Theresa in order to have Ethan.

Tuesday, May 8, 2007
At home, Fox pull Kay into a big kiss. "Where'd that come from," she asked. He pointed out that he's her husband, but she said she didn't want him to overexert himself. Knowing she really loves Miguel and doesn't want to be with him, Fox made her feel guilty by feeding her compliments. Kay recalled Miguel telling her to stay with her husband. As soon as Kay told Fox she had something to tell him, he pulled the "I don't feel good" card. Suddenly, Kay got a feeling that something was wrong. "Someone I care about is in trouble," she said. The phone rang.

The two prisoners continued physically attacking Miguel. "Kay, I love you," he mumbled while bleeding on the ground. The guard warned the bullies not to kill him, then took Miggy to the prison doctor. The doc scolded the guard for not being there for the new prisoner. When Miguel woke up, the doctor had to tell him where he was and what happened. Kay ran in. "I thought I lost you," she said to Miguel, while Fox was in the hallway.

Sheridan somehow escaped prison and returned to her cottage. When she stepped out of the shower, Spike grabbed and kissed her. Spike yelled at Sheridan, pointing out that she called him and said she needed him to come over right away. It was to talk to him, not because she wanted him, she assured. "I need to see Luis again," Sheridan told Spike before threatening that he better help her.

At Luis's jail cell, Fancy asked him what was going on with him and the other male prisoner. When she mentioned him having sex with someone else, Luis grew confused. "You've only been in here for a couple of hours and you're already into men," she snapped. Luis said he's not gay. Fancy said she saw him being intimate with his cellmate. Luis told her she was wrong, and noted that his cellmate, Max, just arrived. She begged him to admit he was with a guy and not to ever say he loves her. Max claimed he and Luis have not touched each other. Luis realized she was referring to Sheridan, but before he could say anything, Fancy ran off. Luis filled Max in on the situation, who was in awe that he had two women disguised to see him. "I've heard everything," he told Luis. Lopez-Fitzgerald told his cellmate he's going to kill him in order to help Fancy understand.

Ethan downed shots of alcohol in the Crane kitchen and recalled making love to Theresa, and imagined her having sex with Jared.... Jared and Theresa walked into her bedroom, where the wall was clearly destroyed. Jared asked what happened. She covered by saying she decided to remodel the room. "Ever heard of Bob Vila?" he responded. The newlyweds then made love, and he said how lucky he is to have her. "Thanks for making me your husband," he beamed. She headed to the kitchen to make a snack. She was surprised to see Ethan there. He toasted to her, "Here's to Theresa and Jared. May they live happily never after." Winthrop begged her not to have a baby with Jared. She noted that if Ethan wasn't in the picture, she would love Jared. "I will always be in the picture," he snapped. Ethan asked her to take a leap of faith with him. The blackmailer watched from around the corner.

Monday, May 7, 2007
Endora's teacher, Ms. Lucy, frantically looked for Tina, unaware that her witchlet student turned her into a cat. Tabitha arrived and her daughter told her what she did to her classmate, and that a man took her away. Tabs took off looking for Tina. The missing girl's mother arrived to take her daughter to an appointment. "I've lost her," informed Ms. Lucy. Tabs spotted an animal-control truck outside of the pre-school on which she found several cats. When the animal controller arrived, she asked Tina to reveal which feline she was. When the cat spoke, Tabitha made the man seem like he was going nuts. She vanished with kitty Tina before the man could ask too many questions. Tab returned to the classroom with Tina just as her mom was calling the police. Tina told her mom all about her cat adventure. Tabitha brushed it off as a wild imagination.

Eve found roses in her office with a note from Julian asking her to let him explain. The doc recalled walking in on him in bed with Ivy and threw the flowers in the trashcan. Jules called Eve and said Valerie has more information on their son. The three of them met up in the doc's office. Val said she found who she believes is 100 percent their son. When Eve hugged Jules, he and Val exchanged glances.

Simone and Paloma searched for Jessica on the wharf. At the motel, Jessica, in her undergarments, screamed when she realizes her customer was dead and she had blood on her hands. She called Simone, told her what happened and begged her to come to her rescue. Simone and Paloma rushed to Jess's side. There, Paloma pointed out that she wasn't a cop the last time they helped the hooker hide her crimes. "Oh, that's right," Simone said. Jess begged her friend not to turn her in for her unborn baby's sake. Paloma didn't want to see Jess's kid end up in Spike's custody, but struggled with deciding what to do. Jessica convinced Paloma to keep quiet. The girls then gathered up the dead guy and dragged him out of the room, unaware Spike was taking pictures through the window.

Dressed as a prison guard, Fancy headed to the showers to find Luis. While trying to hide a bearded Sheridan, Miguel and Luis were scolded for not using lice shampoo. Sher leaned on Luis and apologized for her scheme. Fancy walked in just in time to see the two naked bodies up against each other, and naturally assumed her boyfriend was with another man. When Migs returned with the mandatory soap, Fancy uttered in disgust, "He's doing this in front of his brother?" In the hallway, Fancy called Esme and told her she saw Luis and the man together again. "They were naked? In the shower? This is getting very interesting. Who knew prison could be so hot and sexy," enthused Esme. Esme advised her friend to stand up for herself. "You need to tell him to go to hell," she said. "And you need to tell the man that he's cheating with to go to hell, too." In the shower, Sheridan told Luis all she wanted was to be with him. The brothers tried to hide her from the rest of the men so they could get back to their cell without getting busted. In order to prevent Sheridan from getting caught, Miguel picked a fight with the guard so Luis could grab a jumpsuit for her. Once Luis and Sheridan got dressed and sneaked out, Miguel was approached by two huge prisoners. "Where you going so fast, pretty boy?" asked one before beating him up. The disguised Fancy chatted with Luis through his cell bars. "What are you doing with this man?" she asked.

2006 recaps
2005 recaps